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Young & Pregnant-Transcript

Scene 1

Gabi: Caroline! Who's ready for some high tea? I say high you say tea. High...

Caroline: Don't. 

Gabi: Sorry I'm just kind of excited this is my firet time making a high tea. I mean for you I do this all the time, i'm a proffesional.

Caroline: I hope so because this has to be flawless. If I don't lose at least one friend out of jealousy it will be a complete falior.

Gabi: Hahahaha. Oh you're not kidding. Well don't worry I got it all covered. I made three types of schounes, made a traditional....

Caroline: What about my friends who don't eat gluten?

Gabi: Champagne deviled eggs with caviar

Caroline: And the ones who eat vegan.

Gabi: Almond-crusted baked eggplant.

Caroline: And what about the only ones who eat raw?

Gabi: I'm hoping they don't come.

Caroline: Excuse me?

Gabi: I said at your service mom.

Caroline: (gets a phone alert) Oh look at this beautiful creature.

Gabi: Oh a cute pony.

Caroline: Haha. That's not a pony. That's a cold red cyrus from the two kiltulby red winners. 

Gabi: Oh all I'm sorry is for waiting atthe car mechanic. 

Caroline: Daddy is trying to win him on an oction for Josh. It'a a family tradition to buy a newly engaged man a race horse as a gift. 

Gabi: Oh our only family tradition is avoiding eye contact when Grandma says something racist.

Caroline: Please don't talk about your life it makes me sad.

Gabi: Well it's not all sad. Bought a new bra went up for a cup size. When does that ever happen?

Caroline: All the time. It happened to my friend Diane. Doul she went up two cup sizes. And she paid for hers. And my sister but of course she's pregnant.

Gabi: Well i'm not that. Oh no! Go away (to her boobs)

Theme song

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Scene 2 

Gabi: Oh dang god you're here. Do you have the pregnancy test? I'm freaking out.

Sofia: Ok just calm down. You can't be pregnant you and Josh used protection. Right?

Gabi: Absomaybe.

Sofia: Are you freaking kidding me?

Gabi: Shh.

Sofia: How can you not use protection.

Gabi: I don't know we had so much champagen I don't remember. Will you stop talking you know I can't pee when I'm nervouse I have a shy bladder.

Sofia: Well I wish you would have a shy vagina then we wouldn't be in this mess.

Gabi: I heard that.

Sofia: Did you pe on it?

Gabi: Yeah and a little on my hand.

Sofia: Ok we have one minute till we find out the results. Which gives you one minute to freak out. Go.

Gabi: How did this happen? I mena I know how it happened. But why did I let it happen. I finally got my dream job which is gonna lead me into my dream career and I'm even gonna have my own cook book. All dining with dad. 

Sofia: Ok ten seconds.

Gabi: And now all can be ruined because of one stupid drunken mistake. Well I'm mean I know I'm being negative but I'm scared the test will be positive. 

Sofia: And time up. Do you feel better?

Gabi: No. 

Sofia: Ok time to see it...

Gabi: Josh!! Hey this is my rommate Sofia. Sofia Josh. Josh Sofia.

Sofia, Josh: Hey.

Gabi: Yeah Sofia is helping me cut the sandwiches into triangles.

Josh: Well, we're glad you're here. We can use all the help we can get.

Gabi: Yeah

Josh:Gabi told you how inportant this day is for me ?

Sofia: Yes she did. And it's a big day for everyone.

Josh: Look it's really inportant to Caroline that I make a good inpression on her friends. t's gonna be 13 of them here and unlike her they can be cold and juggy

Gabi: Well just be yourself, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Josh: Hah. That's the worst idea ever.Look I might seem confident and succesful on the outside, but on the inside i' just a soft pile of gof. Let me botoom line that for you. I'm so scared.  What is that?

Gabi: It's a It's a stire. Boy you are nervous. You know what you should do leave immedietly and go work all that excity at the gym.

Josh: I can't I have to much to do. I have to get my taylor suited. My suit taylored. Oh my god I'm sweating like a barn animal. (leaves)

Sofia: Wow, Now I see why you slept with him. He is a babe.

Gabi: Sofia we have more inportant babes to worry about. I can't look.

Sofia: You have to.

Gabi: I'm positive. Oh this one is ruined I gotta take another test.

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Scene 3

Elliot: Socks with sandals Gabi? You make it too easy.

Gabi: Yeah okay.

Elliot: Gabi insults are two way street. If you don't react there's no fun in it for me.

Yolanda: Mmmhhhhmmhh

Elliot: Yolanda.You're humming. 

Yolanda: Elliot you're annoying.

Elliot: See that's how it works. (to Gabi) You only hmm when you have gossip. What is it? Spill!

Yolanda: Would you chill out. MAybe I'm just happy. Happy I got some dirt. Gather round sisters. So I was taking out trash like I always do and under nit a bunch of two piles toilet paper that only rich people buy. I found a box for.. wait for it.. pregnancy test. Well now I only found the boy but I know excatly what's going on.

Gabi: You do?

Yolanda: Damn right I do. Caroline is pregnant.

Gabi: Caroline?

Elliot: No wonder she's so moody. 

Yolanda: And I saw her almost eat ice-cream. And she smeled a pice of cake.

Elliot: I can't wait to tell Josh.

Yolanda: No you're not telling him. It's my news.

Gabi: Hey. No nobody is telling anyone anything.

Elliot: Except me.

Gabi: Guys. He's already freaked out about this party, I mean why would we add to the stress? Plus we don't even know what the results of the test are. And even Caroline might not know. YOu know a lot of people screw up their first test.

Elliot: She's got a point. We shouldn't say anthing.

Yolanda: Fine but it sure does take fun from digging throught the trash.

Josh: Hey guys!

Yolanda: You're gonna be a dad!

Elliot: Damn it!

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Scene 4

Josh: Wait let me get this straight. You guys find a pregnancy test with no pregnancy test in it and you don't know what the resutls are?

Yolanda: Really last the of when you say it like that.

Elliot: I tried to stop her from telling you. But you saw what happene.I was like Indiana Jones running from that boulder.

Josh: Look guys. I apriciate your censour, but if Caroline would be pregnant she would tell me.

Gabi: That's setelet. Let's not tlk about that again.

Elliot: Caroline you're positivly glowing.

Caroline: Of cours I am I just got a facial.

Yolanda: A facial for two.

Gabi: Shhh.

Caroline: Josh help me pick out something to wear I wanna look so good so all my friends fell bad about themselfs.

Yolanda:  She's gonna be agreat mother.


Gabi: Yeah about that. Yolanda.Why did you say something, I told you not to say anything. And then you just tell Josh everything. 


Yolanda: I couldn't let the gossip, piglits steal my thunder again. I mean when the fireman came to cut out 500 pound Lou out of his apartment Elliot broke the news.When Mr. Lowenstien became Mrs. Lowenstien Elliot broke the news. It's my turn. And how can you care so much anyway. 


Gabi: Because god, It's not actually completley Caroline's pregnancy test. 


Yolanda: Then who's test is it? 


Gabi: It's kind of completley mine. 


Yolanda: What? Oh hell no!Wait that doesn't come from the night that you and Josh... Oh hell no. So are you pregnant or not?

Gabi: I don't know the test knd of got messed up.

Yolanda: How do you mess up peeing on the stick?

Gabi: It's complicated. Sofia i on the way with another one. But with everything that's going on, maybe I should tell Josh now?

Yolanda: Tell him what that you might be pregnant, but you don't know? That's just gonna upset the man. Until you take a new test you keep you mouth shut.

Gabi: Yeah you're right.

Yolanda: Damn. I'm like Fima from the way cleaning up all of this desasters.

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Scene 5

Caroline: (gets a phone call) Hey daddy how's the horse oction going? We won the cold? Oh I'm so excited. oh my god we're going to be parents (Josh overhears) Well if he's anything like his father he's going to be one handsome stund. Oh I can't wait to surprise Josh at the party.Yeah we're in for quite a ride.

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Scene 6

Josh: Elliot! Get over here quick. I need you.

Elliot: I need you too. God it feels good to say it out loud.

Josh: Caroline is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad.

Elliot: Did you tell me before Yolanda?

Josh: Yes.

Elliot: Yayy. We're having a baby.

Josh: I mean we didn't plan to have kids so soon, but now that we are I'm stoked.Teach him how to read and write code.

Elliot: And I'm gonna get him on the best dressed taudler clothes. I know all about buying tiny clothes.

Josh: Right now I need you to, go out and find the greates baby gift you can find. When Caroline will surptise me with the big news at the pary I'm going to surprise her. (leaves)

Elliot:  You can count on me. Magic gay powers activate. .... Form off an amazing. baby gift.

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Scene 7

Josh: Wow, sweetie.You're sure you should be drinking?

Caroline: AA. Yeah.

Gabi(opens door to Sofia) Thank god you'r here.

Sofia: Here's your you know what, to find out if you're you know what!

Yolanda: You know what just give here that damn pregnancy test.

Sofia: She knows?

Yolanda: Damn right I know. When you try to hide something don't barry it on the bottom of the trash can under a bunh off teashues and magazines where anyone can find it. Now give me that, this time I'm throwing it away. YOu're box will always get you in trouble.

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Scene 8

Gabi: I have been holding in for an hour.

Sofia: Sorry it tok so long. When I got to the store I didn0t have enaugh cash and I had to go home and shake down our couch.

Gabi: Howwwoh Dang god.

Sofia: You're not pregnant?

Gabi: No I just feel so good to pe.

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Scene 9

Yolanda: What a hell is all this? Please tell me that a German nanny on floor 4 left her baby in the elevator again.

Elliot: You wish. Josh asked me to get a surprise gift for a baby for Caroline. When he text me 'm gonna push it into the party and blow her mind.

Yolanda: But Josh told us to calm down and not jump int the conclusions.

Elliot: Well he changed his mind an asked me for help. Why you ask because he likes me more than you.

Yolanda: You can't go in with tis stroler.

Elliot: Watch me!

Yolanda: Elliot I'm not playing. Caroline is not pregnant. It was Gabi's test.

Elliot: Mhh, good one.

Yolanda: If you bust in there with this wheller you're gonna ruine Josh's life forever. Now give me that.

Elliot: Like hell I will. Unlike the windows yu clean I can see right throught you. You just want to wheel into the big surprise and get the credit.

Yolanda: No I don't. 

Elliot:  Yes you do.

Yolanda: No i don't.

Eliot: Yes you doo!

Yolanda: Oh my goodness is that a swing. Oh se Elliot you're so.

Elliot: Is in it the diedful?  They call it a sawmpy.No, sabotour.

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Scene 10

Gabi: This is the longest minute of my life. I feel like throwing up.

Sofia: That's not a good sign.

Gabi: Sofia, I can't be pregnant. I can't have a baby I'm still a baby.

Sofia: It's time. Do you want me to look?

Gabi: No, no I'll do it. Oh my god.

Sofia: Are you crying?

Gabi: Yess!

Sofia: Happy or sad tears.

Gabi: Happy.

Sofia: Happy good or happy bad?

Gabi: There's not such a thing as happy bad. I'm not pregnant. Aaaaa ayayy.

Yolanda: What's going on in here? I haven't heard a scream like that, since I got waxed.

Gabi: I'm not pregnant. We cna finally relax.

Yolanda: No we can't. Now i bought you some ime but Elliot is about to march into that party with a carrieer for Caroline.

Gabi:What not!?

Yolanda: If you don't fix this you're gonna get srewed in this house for a second time.

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Scene 11

Yolanda: Are you sure you want to tell Josh?

Gabi: I'm pretty sure I don't want Caroline to find out  in front of her friends that I slept with her fiancee. Yolanda: Good point.

Caroline: We're done with these.

Gabi: Oh okay, thank you. Oh tnx, oh more yay.

Caroline: Everyone!! I have an annoncment to make. You all stop what you're doing.

Gabi: Sorry.

Caroline: As you all know, Josh and I are engaged. AndIjust wanted to tell him in front of you how much I love him. And I hope... Noreen I'm talking put down the schoun and step away from the table. As I was saying Josh and I are going to be the proud parents of....

Elliot: A baby!!!!

Caroline: Baby?

Josh: And I couldn't be happier.

Caroline: No, I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant!

Josh: Wait you're not?

Caroline: No.

Josh: But I herd you on the phone and I found the box of a pregnancy test.

Caroline: I don't know what you're talking about, but waht you found is bot mine.

Josh: But then who's is it?

Gabi: Aaaaa. That would be mine.

Josh: Yours?

Guest 1: Best party eveer.

Josh: Gabi what's going on?

Gabi: Well since you've asked, em I had to take a pregnancy test, because I had a thing with this guy, his name was Edward and he was very tall and mysterious and pale. It was amazing his skin was almost iredestin on the sun.

Guest 1: Emm, that's Twilight

Gabi: No It's not. My Edward left me to get back with his girlfriend

Noreen: Ahh, man are such pigs. Hand me that cupcake.

Gabi: This was not, this was greta he just loved somebody else. All we had was one magical champagne and fused night.

Josh: (almost chokes on the champagne) Amm, O

Caroline: Hello!

Josh: Caroline my beautiful fiancee you were saying baby?

Caroline: I bought you a freaking horse.

Josh: You bought me what now?

Yolanda: I'm no cleaning after a horse. Caroline: A million dollar champion sired thored bread. You're welcome.

Josh: Sweetie it'a amazing.

Caroline: You obviously don't like it. I wasn't born yesterday. I know I look I was, but I wasn't.

Josh: I love it. I do. I just, got kind of stoked all the baby talk. 

Caroline: That's just it Juju, he is our baby I named him Juju Junior.

Josh: You know what he's beautiful just like his momma.

Caroline: He is isn't he?

Gabi: To Juju Junior and the happy couple.

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Scene 12

Josh: Hey!!

Gabi: Hey! Em listen Josh I'm really sorry what happened...

Josh: Nooo, I'm sorry I put you in this recoment.

Gabi: Yeah.

Josh: Are we..?

Gabi: I'm not pregnant.

Josh: Oh, thank god. I can breath oh and I mean that in the nicest posible way.

Gabi: I know yeah.

Josh: Gabi I hope you relase I would done whatever.

Gabi: I know, I know.

Josh: Good.

Gabi: Good.

Josh: Good

Gabi: Good... we're repating because this is an awkward situation.

Josh: It really is.

Gabi: It really is.

Josh: Still awkward

Gabi: Still so awkward.

Josh: Seriously are you ok?

Gabi: Yeah yeah are you kidding me dodge and bullet. ...from Caroline's gun.

Josh: Uhh

Gabi: Yeah that really comes in waves. Oh well I'm gonna head home for a day.

Josh: Yeah me too.

Gabi: Josh you live here.

Josh: Yeah I live here.

'Gabi, 'Josh: Uhooo.

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Scene 13

Sofia: Wow, oh my god this this cakes are amazing. Great food is sucha great thing!

Gabi: Haha. I know some people can afoard all of this cake and I get left overs. 

Sofia: Do you even know what a forowar cake is?

Gabi: Not a clue.

Sofia: Em I just thought of something what if these leftovers that you keep bringing home causing you to get weight into your boobs.

Gabi: Hhh, I never thought about that, another great job perk I got perks on my sweater.

Sofia: Haa. Give me another one I have to catch up.



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